In Which We Hiked Through A Creek

What a fun week. Lots happened. Remember how I said I was pushing out of my comfort zone? Well I’m doing that some more. The rest of the week was pretty low key. Business as usual. Wednesday and Thursday I put my time in at work and at the gym. Nothing too too exciting… Friday was a little interesting. I post on this forum online. On and off for like a number of years. I’ve never met any of these people, and they hang out a bunch. Friday night I got invited out to go for beers with a bunch of them. I had nothing going on so I figured… Enh. Why the fuck not right? I skipped out of work and hit the gym hoping to get a full session in. I didn’t due to some wires being crossed when it came to pick up times (30 min short for it to count in my books).

I offered to pick a couple people up since we planned on getting a bite before the bar. All in all a great night. I met some pretty awesome people, and reconnected with a couple friends from a really long time ago. I had planned on going home by 10 since I had a hike the next morning, but stayed until midnight. Getting home at 1:30 was rough, but totally worth it.

The next morning I headed out with Explore BC for a hike up the Woodland Walk Trail. We had a turnout of nine with was awesome, with a few noobies. We were pretty much all not prepared at all, haha. So much for being a “year round trail” since 40% of it was spent navigating creeks, runoffs and puddles. It rained, it snowed, it hailed, and the sun came out for the last ten minutes. Do I regret it? No. But I hope it doesn’t deter any one from coming out again.

Post hike I got to spend some time with Miles, an old buddy of mine, and my friend TJ and her new guy. It was a great time: we hit up our three local breweries and sampled pretty much everything on tap. It was great since this was the first time in a really long time that me and Miles actually got to hang out, nearly 1 on 1. The pug was tuckered out and slept pretty much the whole way home.

Since I didn’t count Friday, I’m gonna have to step it up a notch.

30/100

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Halfway Through My Damn Early Days

Well two weeks have gone by and I’ve been waking up stupid early to do things such ass… meditate… read… exercise… and update my blog. How’s that going? Well.. better than expected, really, but for totally different reasons. I clearly haven’t updated this blog. Mostly since last weekend I was inundated with work, and I never really got to go outside. I worked out almost every day (Fuck yah) but writing a blog about me hitting an elliptical trainer is kinda boring.

So what happened? Lots. I moved back home after a month of subletting. I learned a lot from that. I learned that I tend to take advantage of people. I like to think that I am a pretty easy guy to get along with. I say please and thank you, I’m friendly, I like to help, and I’d do anything for a true friend. I totally dropped the ball on the last part a couple weeks ago. With out getting in to too many details: I left my friends apartment a mess. I foolishly thought that things being up to my standards were simply good enough. Not the case, and simply not acceptable. I broke a friends trust and it hurt a lot. It took a tole on me emotionally and I consider myself lucky that I have a friend good enough to forgive me (after some light begging).

I’ve been focusing on getting my meal planning in order, and using the early wake up call to slooooowly ease myself in to the day, basically up by 5-6 and getting in a wholesome breakfast, where I’m sitting down and actually digesting, rather than running out the door with something in a napkin.

I also learned a lot about myself last week with dealing with my own and my friends mental health. I was out with someone Thursday night, and witnessed a full on anxiety attack. It was very surreal experiencing this as a third party. I’ve dealt with this on my own, on a much smaller scale, and with by best friend, again, on a much smaller scale. I spent 5 hours sitting with someone, rubbing their shoulders and head, helping them calm down. I ended up not getting home until almost 1:30 in the morning, but it was humbling, and worth it. Someone going through something so difficult, asking you not to leave, in a roundabout way, made me feel really good. It felt like I was worth something, and it made me feel good that someone cared about and trusted me.

This weekend I did get a chance to do something fun! Not a hike either! Well sorta kinda had a hike. Fun on Friday led to a very lethargic attempt at being active on Saturday. I had tickets to Adventure Club on Friday, and I planned ahead and booked Saturday off. Good thing too since I partied a little too hard on Friday and didn’t get home until 4:00AM… Saturday me and the Explore BC crew met up at Brandywine Falls. A quick, snowy jaunt down a pathway on the side of the Sea-To-Sky led to a beautiful shot of a waterfall. after a jog back to the car (it was pissing rain) we continued on to Whistler for an evening of good friends, food, and snow tubing. While it was not as long as I was hoping for: I had a total blast. Some people showed up that had never come out before, so it was good to know that the group was working, and more people were trying to get out.IMG_7355

The rest of the weekend was pretty low key. I was supposed to go out for Valentines but my heart simply wasn’t in it. No pun intended. I cancelled my plans and stayed home. While I was pretty down in the dumps over it, being my first Valentines alone, Monday made up for it tenfold. I got out of my comfort zone for the first time in a really long time, and met up for a coffee date with someone I met last summer. My intentions were supposed to hang out, and then use the time downtown to hit the gym for a 5 day gym streak for the next four work days. Instead: it turned in to a shameful 1000 calorie deficit in My Fitness Pal (thank you Fat Tug IPA for that), and a 10 hour hang out. It was totally worth it. Making friends in Vancouver is next to impossible. She came from Calgary 5 years ago and told me that it took years to find a good core group of people. I went home with her to meet her roommates and had a blast. We’re all going to Pemberton so plans have already been put in motion to camp together.

Anyways. As I sit here I have added… 9 more days of at least an hour of exercise. You know what? That’s fucking awesome, and I feel like I’m really starting to kick ass at this.

 

Until next time.

 

27/100

 

 

Mental Health & 21 Damn Early Days

I told myself that when I started this new blog, that I was going to keep it focused on the positives in my life, and use it to help myself become healthier. Over the weekend I had a long talk with a close friend about how being healthier isn’t just about being physically capable to lift more, run fast, walk further, but also to be better mentally.  The last… I would say three years of my life have been very difficult for me. I rarely talk about it, mostly because it seems in this day and age, every Millennial is struggling in their own way with mental health. It feels that if I speak out, or reach out, I’m simply another statistic, and would be grouped in with the general crowd of like minded individuals struggling with who they are, where they belong, and what they are going to do?

12662533_10153893102559028_7131383435102124992_n2015 was an interesting year for me. The Christmas leading up to it, I confided with my best friends that I felt that I was going no where with my life. There was a lack of adventure, travel, excitement, fear… basically I was in a rut. While I still made, and have great memories, everything felt ridged and planned out. Josh and I committed that from that day forward, starting on New Years to… Do whatever the fuck we wanted. My mantra? Do what makes you happy. And I did. And I had the most amazing year of my life. Sure, there was bad days, but I went to sleep, and the next day made up for it usually. I focused more on making new friends, and trying things that I normally wouldn’t. Basically: I told my comfort zone to just fuck right off.

Why am I talking about this now? I’m not 100% sure. I had a long weekend alone. The first weekend where I went to work, in a location where I had no one to really talk to, and a lot of time to really let my brain just think to itself. It was scary. Josh had come home for December, and it had finally clicked that I wasn’t going to see him again for a couple more months, and it got me down. I kept wondering: Had I actually improved over the year? Was I more independent? Was I really doing everything on my own, or was I relying on other people? I’m still trying to figure that one out. Needless to say, reflecting on this all put me in a pretty bad place. I’m worried that I’m starting to push friends away again, or can’t stop thinking that they are trying to push me away, due to my neediness. I found myself looking at my phone, trying to think about reaching out to people, seeing what they’re doing, or if there was something that I was doing wrong. I decided that was a poor plan and clammed up for a few days. I’m still not 100%, or even 75% over this feeling, but I hope it passes. I know the people I care about care about me back, and that really, at the end of the day, as long as I know that, I’ll be ok.

Sunday was the last day of the month, and I had big plans for Monday. I started a new challenge: 21 Damn Early Days. Through my friends at Chasing Sunrise (You’ll read more about them, I promise), I’ve started a goal to wake up every morning, Monday through Friday at 4:30AM. That’s it. Nothing else. I don’t NEED to do anything, other than wake up, and check in. Seems trivial right? Well Monday, I cleaned the entire apartment, finished ALL the laundry, meal prepped the whole week, and managed to organize my trip itinerary. After that I looked at the clock: 11:00AM. Great. Time for a hike.

My turn to drive this week. I took to the road and collected Kristi, and Marvin. We made our way out to Belcerra for a nice hike through the forest, and emerging out in to a hidden beach overlooking Jug Island. Blogs online say it’s beautiful, and I took that with a grain of salt. It’s just an island, and on top of that, one that you cannot even get to. But once you’re there: Wow. Such a cool outcrop. We sat and played catch with the pug, and after 30 min, made our way back to the car. We ended up doing a couple more Kilometres than expected, so we figured we earned ourselves a beer or two, so kudos to Twin Sails, and Yellow Dog brewing in Port Moody for satisfying our thirst.

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Jug Island

Writing this all down, this morning, at 7:00AM after being up for 2 and a half hours is near therapeutic. Has anything really changed? No. I’m still struggling with my thoughts. I still feel lost. I don’t know what’s happening with certain parts of my life. I feel like I’m losing people again. Is that Ok? Not really. But you kinda really just need to go with the flow. I’m not the only person out there struggling. The direction I’m going might not be the same as someone else’s, and as much as I might want that, eventually there’s going to be a fork in the road. No one knows the final destination, but I suppose the most exciting part is making your own path there.

On my way to the gym now! So I’m marking that in advance, since I plan on crushing today.

 

18/100